Crisis?

After a long time, yesterday, I heard the word "quarter life crisis". It popped out from my friend when we discussing about a particular guy that I was into. I had no idea that he was attached and he thought I just like playing the field. I was not puzzled over the fact that he thinks I am playing the field. I am just confused why he could not make up his mind whether he was attached or not. It took him seconds to ponder over it before he answered it. I had no idea what he wanted in life. How can you live your life not knowing what you want when you are a quarter into it? I was not pissed but just can't understand how an intellectual person can live his life in this way. I am sure we have all met people or sorts like this is our life. This is my first time so I am just... surprised? But then again, what if I were to go through a quarter life crisis? What would happen? What would it be about? I wonder. Interesting food for thought. But for now I have other issues to worry about.

For instance, I am to meet an old friend on Thursday and I am actually nervous in meeting him. We have not spoken for ages (like close to three years because we had a fight) and suddenly this year he started to talk to me and has asked me to help him in his research paper. At first (being the kind and friendly person) I agreed. Then I realised that the conversation was strange. I had not seen him for three years. I honestly feel that I am talking to a stranger. I do remember how I was absolutely devastated when we fought and how I cried my eyes out according to my mom. The funny thing is that I don't remember the emotions that I felt when I was devastated. It feels as if I had amnesia. The only thing I still feel is fear. He had a temper and friends with temper can hurt you with their words. It just feels odd. I have friends I have fought with but my friendship absence with this particular friend was hurtful because he was a really good friend who I could honestly banter with. The hardest thing to get over besides a broken relationship is also a broken friendship. I am not so sure if you have watched the movie, "Its complicated" (I think that's the movie).  When the father who divorced his wife when the children were kids told them as adult that he wanted to get back together with his wife. It shocked the children. They have grown up without the prefect nuclear family and it was difficult for them. I mean I would assume that the kids would be happy or even overjoyed but no, they were clearly distressed. I understand why now. My life has moved on without this friend who has been an integral part of who I am. Now he wants my help as a friend but its hard because I have no idea who he is.

I suppose and I hope I will remember him when I meet him on Thursday. Oh like the camp song, "a New friend found"

A baggage too much

I always like it when people tell me that they have a past or they have a baggage with them. Don't we all? However nothing explains better my situation than this poem:

                                                                 The Secret Sits

                                            We dance round in a ring and suppose,
                                            But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.

                                                                                                            Robert Frost

I am actual simple it's whether you can live with that simplicity.