I like someone...

I was absolutely stunned when one of my friends commented that my facebook status were getting very dense and absolutely puzzling. So for her sake and also in the spur of a moment I decided to change it and make it simple by stating that I like someone in my class

I had some of my classmates telling me that they know who 'he' was and that he was kinda cute. I was bemused. It is amazing how we react (including myself) when someone says that. We assume that it must be a particular person who has diverted your interest and in my case it is a guy. That got me thinking, what if my interest was for a girl? Not that I am saying it's not or it is. And what if the intented meaning of the word 'like' is actual a form of admiration for a classmate? It is fun to let everyone go in circles for a while. But then what happens if that happens in school?

You see I had a rather interesting incident where I was very friendly to one of my colleagues and some of my other staff and students starting asking me and him if there was something going on between us. Thank God I was only there for a while and it died down after I left. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I stayed longer. Perhaps it would have put a strain in our relationship as friends. Such rumors can go out of control when it is not handled with care.

But it is not just such rumors but also small casual behaviour. My friend was telling me that her male friend met her outside school and they were rather close and he usually hugs her when he sees her. He was standing outside and as she walked to greet him she was wondering how she was going to greet him because she was so afraid that her students may see her hugging him. When she reached him she looked around and then hugged him. For once she was so consciously aware of herself as a teacher.

That got me thinking, how much is the job going to control your life? Is it going to change you as a person? Are you going to be a role model at all times? It seems teachers are now like celebraties and students are like paparazzi. I have to watch myself every time I am out because there is a persona I have to carry out. Many may see it as a bad thing, at least I did a few months ago. Now I have learnt to see the good part of it. I have learnt to be more fashion conscious (though I am still learning) and witty (when I have to answer questions from my students) and I am also currently learning to handle rumors. What to say and when. I am not an expert and I am learning. It is not easy but it is really a learning journey for me.

Sometimes I feel being a teacher is so much challenging than begin a local celebrity. It is an intellectual and physical challenge. I think being a teacher in today's age is more than just being noble job. It is a glamorous and dangerous job and trust me it takes more than just passion to teach.

My Great White Shark

Deep down inside
I swam awake

Awaiting, expecting

For what?

I don't know

In an iron cage

In clear blue sea

With an oxygen tank

In a tight elastic suit

A movement forward

A far etched shadow

I saw it coming

My stomach in knots

It arrived closer to me

Its huge teeth first

A seductive smile

A killer in heat

Afraid I should be

Afraid I am not
I wonder why it comes

I wonder what it wants

My Great White Shark
He plays with me

I know I am safe

As long as I am caged

Be not afraid calls a voice

He harms you not it says

I wonder if it's true

I wonder if I should

I manage to be near him

Iwonder should I move

Closer, out of the clove

Wonder what he will do

My Great White Shark

A killer in nature

A killer by birth

A killer to fear

A killer I adore

picture: http://goinoffsafaris.com.au/files/great-white-shark-cage-diving4.jpg

The Deal- Meeting the editor

Ravel was standing with his back facing me when I entered the room. I had so many questions to ask him when I was marching to his office but now they seemed to have vanished into thin air. I was not sure if he had heard me knock and enter or was he deep in thought or was he just posing like what they do in the movies. “Hey Mr Ravel you wanted to see me?”

“Come in please and close the door” He did not turn around, just ordered me to do so. I walked in and closed the door behind me. Ravel still did not turn around but something else was turning.

The room seemed to be spinning or maybe my head was spinning. But whatever the case was I lost balance and fell to the ground and everything was spinning around me . I closed my eyes.

I suddenly felt the spinning stopped. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Ravel in his true form standing facing me. To my amazement he still looked good even in that terrifying form of his. I slowly got myself up and settled myself on a sofa near by

“Hey this is so smooth” I squealed as the texture of the sofa caressed my thighs.

“It's velvet my dear. Coke?” he asked and he held in his hand an old fashioned bottle of coke. I could not resist and took it from him and slowly gulped it down. The room had changed. To me it looked like a warm womb or what I assume a womb would look like if I were a fetus. It was slightly warm but not too warm for discomfort. The room was empty except for a table, sofa I was sitting in and a huge mirror that stood at the back of the table. It took up the exact portion of the window in the portion. The floor was carpeted in red. I wanted to know where in the world I was.

“You are in my office” he replied as if reading my mind.

"Oh... you mean "your" office. You mean you can change it as you like it?"

"No, no, it transform itself depending on its mood. Like the screen saver in your computer" he replied scarastically. I rolledmy eyes. Sometimes I have no idea when or what I have said has pushed his spice button.

Changing the topic I asked him, " So how's your day as the editor?"

"Hmm... not bad so far... a bit boring though.." I choked. Was I getting it right? Did he just say that it was boring? Oh I was already dying working here. I just realised how much my work had taken out three quarter of my life. I hardly had time to rest. I used to spend time clubbing, shopping and shaking legs. Now i don't even have time to do my hair. I suppose that's what you get when you are in the magazine business.

"Well at least you are having fun," I sighed and continued sipping my coke

"You know what's your problem" he asked sitting next to me. I was so used to him appearing suddenly and moving in a twinkle of an eye.

"YOu are so predictable" I stopped sipping and looked at him wide eye. I opened my mouthto rebutt.

" I am not, how can you say that?' The voice did not belong to me. It came out from Ravel's mouth. He was mimicking me and he was right. I closed my mouth and a thought hit me and I opened mymouth again

"It's not fair you are a demon you can read minds, not everyone can do that" he said again with my voice, I closed my mouth again.

He moved closer, "Think dear, are you really that unpredictable?" I moved away from his gaze. I sat silently for what seems to be like eternity. I hated to admit it. He was right. Even a friend of mine who have known for a few months could predict me. I was disturbed but then the question was, how can one be unpredictable. This was something I needed time to ponder about.

"Okay princess, you better get going I have work to do" interuppted Ravel. I nodded and without looking at me, buried in my thoughts I got up.

"Leave the coke here." I momentarily came out of my thoughts and saw that the office was back to its normal self and so was Ravel. I put the coke down and left the office, back into my own

thoughts.

picture http://entrepreneur.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/coke.jpg

The Deal- The New Editor

Rambir hurried down the office maze and went to his table to pick up his file. As usual he was in a hurry and seemed to be engrossed in what seemed to be extremely important to him. He was so busy that he did not notice me staring at him from my desk.

“Hey Tara, have you managed to contacted the publishers?” rang a familiar voice and I quickly pretended to be looking at my notes posted on my office wall. Just as I was doing that the owner of the familiar voice made her presence known to me.

Joan was my best friend in the office. When I first met her she seemed to be quiet but apparently that changed after knowing me for two days. At times we were gossiping like some street side ladies and at other times we would be giggling away like little girls sharing a secret.

We did the craziest things in the office after everyone left from doing a dance on the table to challenging each other in who can eat the fastest cupcakes. No one won and we always ended up having mini food fights and would stay back to clean up the mess. She was the only one who knew about my crush on Rambir in the office. Well, working for a magazine company was not an easy job but with Joan and Rambir one can just handle any situation.

“Not yet Joan, I was just about to call them “, I replied.

“Oh Tara you better do it soon because we need to get everything done before the new editor arrives.” Joan had settled herself on the edge of the table, fiddling with my collective badges. I on the other hand was hurriedly finding for the contact list that I had kept somewhere on my table. My table was not messy but my mind was, it was so messy that new thoughts replaced old ones and in short I was becoming absent minded.

“Hey ladies, big boss has called for an urgent meeting in the board room now”

“What? Now, Zhi Yin? Hey… what the ...! What’s the urgency? Okay Tara I am going back to my office to get stuff and I will meet you at the board room itself” Before I could reply she was off. I stopped searching and grabbed my notebook and some other documents that I presume might be asked during the meeting since I have no idea what it was about and that I rather be safe than sorry. Once I had got everything I made my way to the boardroom

When I entered I stalled momentarily. Right in front of me seating was Rambir. He looked so gorgeous and I was so tempted to seat myself beside him since there was an empty seat but too late someone else had occupied the seat.

“ Hey Tara don’t block the way, boss is on the way let’s settle down quick” said Joan and before I knew it she ushered me to the seat across Rambir. I sat down and waited to catch his attention however he did not look up and was too engrossed with the document he was holding and was penning things down something furiously. I was disappointed.

Joan nudged me and gave me that ‘hello, your crush is seating opposite you’ look. I shot her back that ‘duh I know that’ look. It is amazing how much we could communicate just by looking at each other. I suppose that is what is meant when someone says that eyes can hold conversations. Just as Joan was about to give me another look, our boss walked in and tagging behind him was my heart attack. I stood rooted to my chair, eyes wide open and my jaws dropped and ajar. It was Ravel!

What in the world was he tagging my big boss? It had been two days since I saw or heard from him. I kept constantly wondering if he was following behind me in an invisible coat or did I just signed away my soul and now he was gone and I was soul less. At times I got mad thinking that I trusted him and he violated my trust. The two days were horrible as thoughts flow in and build itself up, thanks to him.

It seemed like eternity as I watched him walk in. He glanced and I saw the sparkle in his eyes and that ever notorious smile. My heart melted. He looked amazing. There was something other than his physical beauty that captivated me. The mischievous smile and twinkle in his eyes made me more intrigued about him than I was before. I stopped myself. What in the world was I thinking? “Snap out of it Tara” I told myself.

“ Okay everyone, sorry for this last minute meeting . We were suppose to have the meeting this afternoon but I am pushing it forward due to the urgency. Now I just got the fax that we got the bid to do the cover story for the big international event that will be held in a month’s time.

So we have to start work now and get everything done asap…” my big boss continued

I was looking at Ravel and was still wondering why he was in my board room. He was not looking at me at all. Instead he was smiling at the rest of my female colleagues who seemed to be charmed by him, as usual.

“So, now, let me introduce our new editor , Mr Ravel”

I almost choked. “How in the world did he get to become my editor? No, the more important question why a editor in my work place? Is he not my guardian angel?” I had so much questions I almost jumped up of my seat.

Ravel moved forward and smiled. “ I look forward to be working with you all” and he bowed and moved back. My big boss took over from there. It was a quick brief of what was to happen for the next few weeks. Throughout the presentation my eyes was watching my big boss but my mind was whirling with so much questions

Joan scribbled something on my notepad. I tilted the notepad and she had wrote,’ Your crush just looked at you’ . As I read it some other words started magically appearing below the scribble. They wrote ‘ Nice to see that you are sitting opposite your Rambir’. I wrote back. ‘What the hell are you doing here? ’

I suddenly felt a huge amount of heat circling around me. It was getting warmer and warmer and I moved uncomfortably in my seat. It was getting hot and I had to unbutton the first button of my blouse. The heat seemed to subside. Words started to form in my notepad again. ‘ Now that’s a bit more reason to look opposite longer’ I looked up and caught Rambir staring at me. I realized that the unbuttoning of my shirt had made me look slightly more sexy catching Rambir’s attention. Rambir quickly looked down at his document. I wanted to smile but then was to stunned and pissed to appreciate the candy look my crush was giving me. Ravel had not answered my question and that really bothered me.

resource: http://5.media.tumblr.com/kauPwp3G7lazx78wU6NN8v6eo1_400.jpg

“Okay that is all for now. I hope all of you would make Ravel feel welcome”

Everyone got up and my phone started to ring. Damn! I wanted to approach Ravel and demand an explanation. I answered the phone and it was one of my reporters. I had to take this call. She had been on medical leave and she had a dateline to meet and needed to clarify some pointers. I hurried from the bustling noise. I could hear Joan calling me but I gave her the sign which I usually do when I was busy and I heard her stop. I made my way to my cubicle and sat down, still on the phone.

Nearly twenty minutes had passed when I finally put down my phone. This job was really exhausting especially when you are working with a dateline. I was tired. My phone rang again. But this time it was my office phone. I picked it up.

“I would like to see you in my office”

It took me thirty seconds when it suddenly hit me that the voice belonged to my wanted man, Ravel. Without thinking, I left my cubicle and marched to Ravel’s office for the long awaited explanation.

The Deal- The Contract

“So sex was good I presume?” It was 10 am in the morning and I had lied to my mother that I had class and group meeting in school. And here I was in Spinelle with a cup of hot chocolate.

“Why? Are you jealous? “ grinned Ravel as he sipped his latte.

“No why would I? You are demon, more importantly a male demon, sex is your fuel and I am sure you need to top it up regularly”. Ravel sipped his latte quietly and before I could blink I felt him so close to me, his breathe on my neck, tantalizing it in an erotic manner. He spoke in a very low voice,

“You know it would only take me seconds to have you screaming in ecstasy, a virgin like yourself cannot resist me in this form”

“Then what’s stopping you? Oh wait.. I forgot… my father will KILL You!!!” I shrieked at his ear. He laughed so loud that the owner wondered what had happened . I nodded to assure everything was alright and the next thing I knew he was sitting opposite me.

“ Firstly, unlike you humans I am not a sex drive maniac. Even demons have a conscious. I am a demon because I am power crazy and sex is the thing I am least interested in. That is why I have this form. I use my charm to get people to work for me and not just for the satisfaction of bodily pleasure “

I leaned back and challenged him. “So you are telling me you never had sex as a demon, you never once used your form to woo woman to bed?”

“ I already told you I am not a sex maniac and I have a conscious. We are not heartless monsters you know.” There was a tremor in his voice when he said that. He seemed kind of sad. He was saying it as if he had lost a lover. Oh my God, he had a lover! It was so obvious and I should have guessed it. Ravel had fallen in love and got himself hurt. How romantic! It was sweet. Then as if reading my mind, Ravel leaned forward and said, “Take your head out of the clouds”

I leaned back, “I was not day dreaming okay? And can you stop trying to intimidate me?”

“So you are intimidated by me?” he grinned again. I hated it when he does that. I looked away and sipped my chocolate which somewhat seemed to be sweeter than it was a minute ago.

“So, have you thought about the proposal Tara?” he changed the subject. I glanced back at him and broke into a cheeky smile .My fingers circling the mug which now held my half drank chocolate.

“What do you gain in this proposal?” continuing to circle my cup. He leaned back, his eyes not leaving me . He was trying to read what was going through my head but I had my thoughts guarded.

“Well, it buys me time to stay”

“ I don’t get it. Can you please explain?”

“It’s simple my dear. You see I have been assigned by your father to seek for you. Once I return you back to your father I would be given another assignment. I however have other plans and I would like to extend my stay here”

“I don’t get it. Why don’t you just ask the devil for an extension?” I thought it was common sensical . But apparently the stare I got from Ravel said other wise.

“To be honest it is not that simple. Once I get back to HIM I would already have another task on standby and it would be difficult for me to stay…” I interrupted him

“So let me get this straight, you want me to make a deal with you to allow you to be my guardian angel so that you can stay here for a longer time?”He nodded.

I was confused. “ But then what happens to my guardian angel in that case? Wait do I have a guardian angel in the first place?” I started to ponder. I had no idea if I did have a guardian angel and if I have seen the angel before and if it was a spirit or a human being or some other creature.
Ravel interrupted my thoughts. “You guardian angel usually takes a form of a spirit but in certain circumstances he would take the form of a human. Do you remember your friend Mike who was your classmate?” I nodded. “Well he was your guardian angel”

I was stunned. “You mean Mike, the quiet boy, the one that hardly talks except to ask me for favors?” Ravel smiled. I could not believe it . That was my guardian angel. He sure was different from me. I had no idea. “ So let me get this straight , now you will take over his place? Has he agreed to it?”

“I managed to convince him and he had agreed.” Ravel cracked his knuckles and stretched. Once again I did not believe him but before I could open my mouth he propped a scroll onto the table and it unfold to display a contract written in gold and weirdly it was glowing . As my eyes scanned the contract I realized that my guardian angel whose real name was Yetichi (what a weird name) had signed me off to Ravel. I looked at Ravel. Could I trust this demon? I knew rationally I should not trust him but somewhere in my heart I wanted to.

“ Where is Yetichi? I want to see him” I demanded.

“You can’t, once he signed the contract he has to leave you. But he did leave something for you” and Ravel took out a golden leave and passed it to me. “Anytime you are in trouble you can call his name holding the leave and he would come back” I took the leave and magically it engraved itself in the skin of my left hand and it looked like a scar. It all seemed like a spell and I slowly caressed the scar.

“Now that you have admired the scar, could you please sign the contract” smirked Ravel. I read the contract thoroughly. It seemed straight forward and yet it was still a demon and there could be strings attached to the contract. I paused and stared at the contract once again.
Before I knew it, Ravel placed his hands on me and suddenly a surge of hot energy ran through me. It was hard to explain but the warmth was exhilarating. I looked at Ravel and he seemed to be caught in the same ecstasy. He seemed to be experiencing what I was feeling and it caught him unguarded. He looked at me straight in the eyes and said, “Trust me, I would never hurt you.” The words seem to be real and intimate and I knew he was telling the truth. I signed the contract and it rolled up and burnt and disappeared. His hands were still on mine and his eyes never moved.

“Hey is there something burning?” someone shouted. The spell was broken. Ravel took his hands off and my hands turned cold. He turned to face where the shouting came from. I looked at the table there was nothing there except for the two drinks we had ordered. No ashes, nothing. The storeowner went to the back of the stall.

Ravel turned back. “Okay that is done” and as if nothing happened he got up and said good bye and left the stall. I was still rooted to my seat. Ravel had showed no expression but I could see his hands were trembling as he left and he was a bit flushed. I wondered what was going through his head. He was so cold . I watched him crossed the road and then he disappeared. I slowly felt the blood rushing through my veins and I slowly got up. Boy, do I hate having pins and needles!

resource:http://www.photospin.com/content/illustrations/full/25_2534330.jpg

Poetry in class

Did this fill in the blanks in lit class

I wish I could remember
the first day, first hour , first
moment of you meeting me
The weather was like an empty womb
And I felt like an aborted foetus
If only I could recollect it! Such
A day of days. I let it decompose
It was like broken ribs to me
It seemed to mean scarifical pleasure to me
If only know I can recall that beautiful day
That first death

The Deal - Ravel

Another inspiration and another story to tell. This is slightly longer than the other stories I have written. So some chapters will be broken down into 2-3 blog enteries. I have also choosen to write the titles instead of the chapters. ENJOY!

The street was nearly empty . The people were walking pass like old leaves being hustled by the autumn wind, sweeping their feet on the old worn out pavement. It was funny for once to see people moving that fast. It was as if someone was pressing the fast forward button.

“I could make them move faster if you want”

I ignored the comment and continued to stare outside. It was autumn in most temperate countries but in a tropical country like mine, there was only rain or shine. We occasionally get to experience the cold wind when the monsoon season was around. But it was too early for a monsoon , 2 months early to be exact. But who cares I already felt the monsoon in my heart. It just emphasis the fact that there was something hollow in a place where there used to be something called a heart. The monsoon had arrived twice in my life taking time to space itself out with the interval of 6 months.

“Well, if we you are done with people watching and self pitying yourself can we consider the proposal that I have just proposed to you.”

I turned to face him. He was sipping his coffee slowly but his eyes never left me. I stared straight back at him. Two ladies entered the café. They were giggling like little girls, drunken, and creating a scene as they entered. They stopped and stared at my table. Both ladies blushed. The one with the heavy make -up whispered something to the other and both smiled at him. He smiled back.

“You have a way with ladies I see. “ I remarked

“Yes, and that’s what they call me, the devil”

I glared at him. Apparently the idea of modesty does not exist to him, but then again he was the devil, well, not exactly. You see I had no idea how to categorize him after he shook my world, and trust me I am not talking about it, the way that Michael Jackson was talking about. He literally had me in shutters.

It all started when I started to see shadows. It was a common thing to see them under a street light in a dark corner. The night was known to attract the unexpected and the most feared. I saw them in broad daylight and I am not talking about shadows that are caused when an opaque object blocks the sunlight. These are ‘shadows’ that allow the light to pass through them. The last time I saw them I was ten years old. One scared me so bad that I lost what many claimed to be my third eye. I never saw them though felt them around but I chose to ignore. A choice that I thought I had not until I met him.

He was all the stuff a girl would dream of, tall, broadly build and devilishly handsome. Even a nun would not be able to resist. He was the metaphor of a female orgasm and all you had to do was to look into his eyes. He would have robbed you of your body and leave you thirsting for more. Well that was what all the girl saw except one, me.

When I first met him he was nothing but a shadow and a shadow in the girl’s toilet. I have been seeing this shadow for a while but I thought I was hallucinating until he spoke to me. I clearly remembered him telling me not to be afraid and naturally I became afraid. He explained that he was a demon and that my father had sent me. I was baffled. Since when did my father started practicing witchcraft? He does not even understand simple instructions, not that I was belittling him but I was certain he would never be able even to conjure the simplest spell without asking a thousand questions. I asked him if he was lying to me and he said no. Then he metamorphosis to become a child. A rather odd looking child. And being me I could not keep my mouth nor my curiosity shut and asked him to show his true appearance, which he did without much hesitation. Perhaps it was the cough medicine I had taken that cushioned the impact of fear that ran down my spine when he metamorphosis again. It was not like Huge Jackman when he became a werewolf in Van Helsing. This was the real stuff and it was scary at first. After while I got used to his appearance and told him that he should appear in his original form so I can know that he is a demon. But as all demon would do, he had to disobey me and appear in that gorgeous form. But form or no form he made my life miserable.

After the toilet incident, he met me again outside school in another toilet and told me the most ridiculous and cock and bull story. According to him I was the child of one of the greatest demons and sorcerer in the world. I was switched at birth to hide me away from my dad. My dad had spend centuries searching for me and had hired him to search for me and he managed to track me down. I rolled my eyes wondering what a dumb demon he was. He should at least try making a believable story. This seemed like a cut and paste story from all the horror stories in the theatres. I refused to believe him and to prove his point he did the most dangerous thing
He appeared in my wrestling class and during kicking practice he stood behind my opponent and slowly pulled something translucent from him. It was his soul and he did that the moment I gave a round horse kick and my opponent collapsed on to the floor. Mind you, my opponent was three times my size and was 3 months my senior in experience. My coach came running and was traumatized to see him breathless, he turned to look at me. The lights on the ceiling on top of me flickered. I whispered harshly under my breathe to return his soul back.

“You believe me then?” he said.

“I do, now give him back his soul before I take yours”

“Okay, then promise you will meet me tomorrow at Spin’s café for dessert”

My coach was trying to revived him while the rest just stood watching me. I gave the smallest nod that was most probably visible to an ant and he gave the soul back. I was then named the angel of death in class.

The two ladies had settled themselves in a place where they could see him. He smiled at them again and I had to say he was really handsome. He was in his human form.

“ I don’t understand why you think he has got someone already?” momentarily turning his attention to me.

“It’s a feeling, that was what had happened to Ajay. At first he had no status in his facebook and he had pictures as if he was kissing this girl and then he was attached to her. It’s the same. Rambir is no exception. He is good looking why wouldn’t girls like him and want him?” I felt the hollowness again and the cold wind passing through. Rambir was the second monsoon.

“Hey you have interesting pictures too, maybe he is just friendly and playful like you. Nothing naughty just friendly. Don’t assume him being quiet as a sign that he is secretive and not open. “
“My point exactly. He is only open to me because I am not close to him like the rest of them” I sighed

“ Maybe your are hallucinating about him liking you”

“Ravel!!!!” I choked and kicked him under the table. He jerked, he did not expect that but he was man enough to swallow and smile at me.

“One more time you do that, there would be consequences”

“Oh, I am so scared, whatcha going to do Ravel, blow fire at me?’ I remarked sarcastically

“ Trust me, you won’t want me to give you a blow” he smirked with a sparkle in his eyes.

“I am just going to ignore that since its coming from you” I rolled my eyes again.

Just then my phone rang. It was my dad. He was there to pick him up.

“ I got to go. You can foot the bill, being the charming man you are” I fluttered my eyelashes and grabbed my stuff.

“ Well I see you tomorrow, sleep over what I have proposed”

“I will think about it… and about tomorrow… I will think about that too!!!” I could see my dad’s car and rushed out of the door and into the car. I turned to back to see the café as my dad rode off. Ravel had gotten up and was approaching the ladies who were now as red as beetroots.

“Men. They never change” I sighed

“What was it dear? “ asked my dad“Nothing dad, just nothing”

picture:http://media.photobucket.com/image/demons/klin62290/demons.gif

Tale of Two (part VIII)

The princess woke up when she heard someone whispered, "Taylor will come back". For a moment she thought it was her maid but she recalled that the voice was male and no one knew about her feelings for Taylor except her maid. She rubbed her eyes and figured she had been dreaming. Blood started to rush to her brain and she recalled what happened last night. She could not believe it but she was sure it was saomething she said that had made what happened yesterday happen the way it happened. She could not believe it and wantedto find out so she got some cloth wiped herself clean and left the tent in search for Taylor.

When she sawTaylor he was talking to the cottage girl. Her blood boiled again buut cooled down when she saw that he was trying to explain something and she was just staring at him cold dead. The princess slowly moved to a bench and settled herslef before Taylor noticed her.

"Why princess, where have you been? Have been looking all over for you?" hushed the maid as she sat beside the princess. The princess asked her to lower down her already soft voice. The maid looked at the direction and saw what the princess was looking at.

"Oh now I see where your attention is.Apparently Talyor and that girl had a fight last night. Something happened and she slapped him." The princess told her that she knew and she was there watching far away when it happened. Her eyes did not leave the couple and Taylor seemed to have given up and walked away to see his servant. The princess was so tempted to tell the maid that perhaps it was because she made a wish that they would seperate that had lead to the incident. But then again it could have been a co incident. The princess kept silent. Then a werid thought popped her head. What if she gave Taylor something and wished upon it exactly what she wanted it to happen. She got up startling the maid and ran to the tent. Once she got there she searched her luggage and while that was happening her maid grew open the tent

"Whatcha doing lass?" she huffed. The princess asked her if she packed her little pendant. The maid launched and pulled it out. The princess smiled. This was the pendant that she had many times consider if she wanted to give to Taylor as a farewell gift after he did not show an appreciation for a token she gave to me while he was staying at her house. SHe did not care she wanted to know what happens now. So she asked her maid to get her some fresh fruits and while she was away the princess sneaked out to the willow tree and surprisingly there was no one at near sight so she bend and made a wish for a respond for teh gift she was to pass to TAylor.

She ran back just in time as her maid arrived shortly after her. She wrote a small note and gave the pendant to her maid to pass it to Taylor. Puzzled the maid obeyed.

The princess walked around the room like a restless cat and even Uncle Mar thought she was acting strange when he popped by her tent. She was having knots in her stomach and it seemed like eternity when the maid returned. At first glance she was disappointed and then the maid took out a small piece of paper and said that i was from Taylor. In it was written,"Thank you for your gift. It is so thoughtful of you to send me something. I like it. Thanks again!" The princess smiled. In some coincidental manner it was working and she grinned like a cat. She pranced around and hugged her maid and fell on to the bed and sighed. Her maid thought she was insane but she knew it would made sense in an insane way and held the note close to her.

Picture: http://www.myprecious.us/images/arwen_pendant_med.jpg

Tale of Two (part VII)

The princess sat alone and slowly she felt herself drifting into a whole array of thoughts. It did not hit her when he told her that it was just her friend. But slowly it was building up, she was getting mad. If she was a friend what was she doing on his lap? She could not believe it, he was seeing someone else. Was he blind? Did he not like her? Yes it was only a week but from what others in the household saw, it was pretty obvious that something was going on with the both of them and yet he was seeing someone. That made her mad. Though her maid told her it was not working out between the two of them since he only saw her when he was stopping by during his expeditions. She was infuriated because of him and not because of him at the same time. Men, now that was what infuriated the princess. Growing up with men was not the problem, being their friends was not a problem but falling in love with them was. She hated both Taylor and the stranger friend of hers. They were both alike. They cannot see the girl who is genuine. All they want were girls who would use them and threw them away. They were not sincere and yet these were the exactly girls that these men would fall for. Were they man or mouse? Apparently they most likely fit the second category. She had enough of them. She was after all a princess and she was more than fit to rule a country and there was no need to find a spouse for her. Especially the two jerks she had met. Perhaps it was her fault. She should just find men who adore her and worshipped the ground she walks but she knew deep inside she would be bored. Or, she could juts married the man her father wanted to but the thought of sleeping with him made her insides decompose instantly. What was a princess to do? She had to marry but she cannot marry out of duty and then there was a part of the guy she likes liking her. Why was her life so complicated?

A sudden movement, the princess ‘s hand moved to her sword. The tent opened and a familiar face popped in. “ You are doing well princess?” asked the wrinkled face man. The princess smiled . The wrinkled old man was the general who knew her since she was a baby. He taught her all she had to know about sword fighting and house riding. She rode remarkably and at times had put a lot of her own knights to shame. He had always adored her and treated her like a daughter of his own especially after his own daughter married and moved away to another kingdom. To everyone he was known as Sir Marvin but to her he was Uncle Mar.

The princess was so tempted to tell Uncle Mar that she mentally unwell and she was driving herself mad. But she decided that it was pointless to explain it to Uncle Mar and it is better to keep her mouth shut when it comes to matters of the heart that interferes with state affairs. She assured him that he was fine and he smiled and left. The princess sighed and decided to go out for some fresh air.

The wind was warmly chilly and she felt the early formation of the dew drops on her face. They glistered in the light of the new moon. Everyone was retiring to bed and her maid was no where to be found. She slowly walked to the river which was a few feet from where her camp was. It was so beautiful just like mother nature had intended to be. She could hear the whispering of the willow tree as she approached. It seems as if it was singing to her. She stood there momentarily and closed her eyes. She felt as if she was elevating and all her problems were being lifted off her problems. Then a sudden laughter shattered her elevation. She opened her eyes to see what she should have never seen.

Taylor was with the cottage girl. She was laughing and twirling around and he was watching her taking slow strides. They were having fun and were not aware that the princess was watching. The princess felt her heart burning and her eyes were tearing with streaks of salted water. Taylor moved closer to the girl. The princess could not take it anymore and she did not want to see anymore. She turned around and kneeled in front of the willow and from the bottom of her heart made a wish.

There was a momentary pause. It seemed time stood still. The princess had no idea what she was saying but she felt warm feeling running through her body. Then a slight wind blew and “ Slap” there was a loud sound and the princess turned towards the direction of the sound. What she saw shocked her. The cottage girl was arguing with Taylor and then suddenly she slapped him hard. The princess could not see Taylor’s face but saw him staggered and the cottage girl stomped off. Taylor ran after her.

The princess was stunned. She slowly turned to face the willow tree and stared hard at it. Was she dreaming? Could not be. Maybe finally the exhaustion of travelling was catching up with her. She better retire to bed. She got up and made her way to the tent. As she walked for a moment she thought she heard a small child’s laughter. She turned and for a moment she thought she saw a young girl seating at the top of the willow tree. She turned around and quickened her pace to her tent.

Tale of Two (part VI)

The princess yelled her heart out as she felt the wind hit her face. This is what she has been waiting for. To her it was freedom on the move. She was on the move and she was free, free from all the commitments for the time being. “Wait up princess!” yelled one of the generals. She turned a deaf ear and rode even faster. She had no idea where she was heading but all she knew was that she was enjoying what she was doing. She closed her eyes with confident. She was moving in unison with her beloved horse. She was a black beauty . When the princess first got her she was only eight years old and she was only a pony. They had both grown up together with strong pride and independence. Black Beauty as the princess called her, never allowed anyone to ride her except for the princess. She was only obedient to the princess and the princess herself swore never to ride any other horse either.

Suddenly Black beauty slowed down and the princess opened her eyes. There were a few villagers standing around blocking the path. She halted and saddled down from Black Beauty. The rest of her party of riders caught up with her. One of the villagers approached her.

“ I am sorry lass, you cannot pass today. There is a pack of wolves that has been terrorizing our village and we are not allowing anyone to pass through to the fields and village until the hunt of the wolves are done with”

“ How long will it take? “ asked one of the generals.

“About another two days, we have managed to kill about three of the wolves, there is still two more to go. It is very dangerous and we strongly advise you to stay in our village before you make a move” said the villager.

The princess decided for the safety of everyone to stay in the village. The village was not far away and so the princess got off her horse and walked to the village. As she reached the entrance she was surprised to find the village in a state of a fair. It seems everyone was enjoying themselves and having a good party. They even have a welcome sign to welcome everyone.

“Well it seems they are making the best of the situation” whispered the maid as she walked up along with the princess. The princess nodded and smiled. It seemed to be a nice village and everyone greeted her with a smile and then suddenly she froze. What she saw left her speechless. Right in front of her was none other than Taylor. He was sitting on a bench and in his lap was a girl. He was caressing her cheeks and she was giggling and whispering in his ears.

‘Oh my God!” gasped the maid. At that remark, Taylor who was busy flirting with the cottage village girl looked up. This time it was his time to freeze. Their eyes met for an instance, and the princess quickly turned away to hide the hurt in her eyes. She stomped off and the maid ran after her.

“Who was that?” squealed the cottage girl. Taylor did not reply instead got the girl up and left after the princess.

The princess was walking on. She had no idea where she was heading but her legs was walking so fast that she felt that she was running . Then Taylor appeared in front of her. “It’s not what you think, she is my friend and she’s drunk” he rushed the words out. The princess raised her hands up to stop him. She told him that she did not care who she was or what he was doing with her. It was none of her business and it was good to see him. And with that she walked away to see her generals.

Taylor watched as she walked away. He had not expected this to happen. But it had and now she was here. Then suddenly he heard someone call him and he turned and walk away still looking at her.

picture:http://im.rediff.com/movies/2009/jan/14sli4.jpg

A Tale of Two (Part V)

Taylor announced in the morning that he would be leaving in two days’ time. It was pure hell that morning. She was trying all the best to avoid him. But no matter how she tried she could not help feeling hurt from ignoring him. Taylor was confused with the princess’s behavior as he thought she was just being friendly and now perhaps in an erratic mood as she may be nervous with the arrival of her engagement so near. The princess was torn and had no idea what she was doing. She had feelings for Taylor as far as she knew but at the same time the aspect of a lover scared her. All that morning she was going mad and was about to tear her heart out. She could tell him how she felt about him but what if he told her that he had no feelings for her? She would stab herself. How can she ever face him again if she were to marry his best friend? How can she accept the best friend as her husband when Taylor was the one who gave her a new lease of life? She panicked and was walking off the tiles in the house when a message arrived for her. It was from her father and it was official. There seems to be an old settlement that had to be dealt urgently in the highlands and she was summoned to the task. She was to travel to the highlands to settle deed. The princess read the letter twice. She was to go on a journey. A journey that would buy her time to think clearly. She was also in need of a change and this was a perfect chance. She agreed and informed her mother straight away. The Queen was infuriated at first but then thought it would be a good pilgrimage since the highlands have been known to be a spiritual place. She agreed and the princess was to leave two days after Taylor was to leave.

The day arrived sooner than expected and Taylor said his farewells. The princess had faked a cold and stayed in her room and watched Taylor leave through her window. Taylor looked up and for once their eyes met and somewhat the princess saw some form of sadness in his eyes but she was not sure, she maybe hallucinating. She slowly watched her handsome blacksmith riding off.

She watched until he was but a dot in a distance. She breathed and convinced herself that he was just being nice to her though somewhere in her heart she thought otherwise. It was crazy she had no idea why she was feeling that way. Maybe it was a rebound, maybe it was not. She sighed, well she cannot be pondering too much she had to pack for her journey and there is no time to be wasted. So she spun herself from the window and went in search of her maid.

picture source:http://www.disneypicture.net/data/media/68/disney_princess_jasmine.jpg

A Tale of Two (part IV)

Seven days were passing like seven minutes. There was a huge tidal wave in the princess’s life and its name was Taylor. He was the best friend of the groom to be and yet in the seven days the princess had not the slightest idea what kind of man the groom was. Taylor was to stay in the household to make arrangements for the engagement. He was there and he did his job diligently and yet he did more. On the first day the princess had no idea how or what to say to Taylor but it was he who broke the silence by asking her if she was too embarrassed to speak to him. She paused and then burst out trying to explain her anger and surprise at the same time. Taylor laughed out loud and that had started what seem to be an unexpected twist in the plot of the princess’s life.

Taylor though was a rather quiet man, he easily charmed all in the household. Even the princess’s maid thought he would make such a wonderful husband for the princess. The princess had no idea what she was going through. For once in her life she was feeling something she thought she would never feel. The pumping beat of her heart made her realize that she had one. She thought it was destroyed and now it seems it had budded and was growing strong each day. Taylor nurtured it with his elegant smiles and his quiet shyness. He would occasionally tease her lovingly when she was in a bad mood. The princess could not help but smile whenever she thought of Taylor. He was slowly melting her heart that even her maid noticed the changes in her behavior even though she tried hard not to show it. The princess was walking on cloud nine.

Then one day in her normal conversation with Taylor she asked him if he had ever had a lover to which he said no, and the princess blushed deep red. She was about to ask another question when she was interrupted by a servant who needed to talk to Taylor. He bid her farewell and left. The princess was so happy that she ran into her maid who was anxious to know why she looked like a beetroot. The princess told her what had happened only to be faced with a rather quiet and shocked maid

“Dear princess this is not true. I just got information from his servant that he did have a lover previously though he is not sure what had happened. Even I asked him a question and he said maybe”

The princess sank into her chair and the maid quickly ran to her side saying that perhaps he may have a lover but things are not going their way. The princess paused. This time she was scared. She had hurt herself once, she dare not go into that territory again. She told her maid to leave and spend the entire night alone thinking till the moon bid her farewell.

Singles’ Season

Moving on, I just realized over the weekend that some of my amazing eligible bachelor friends of mine are single. Which, is a curious thing for me, since I usually felt that winter is when breakups are more prevalent in the community of friends I have. But it seems this time round autumn has brought in the season earlier. I commented about this to a friend yesterday to which he said that it was an irony that it was coming from me. I am not attached and has never been and he wondered when I was going to find someone. Lately it seems to be a concern to the friends I have been talking to. This bunch wants to see me married in a sari and attend my big fat Indian wedding. Easier that than done, is my reply to them. I used to think that it was important to settle down in life. But lately I have abandoned that thought. Thanks to another group of people who think that I should focus on my career path since I am made to achieve in life. They think I probably would get married only when I have achieved all I have set out to achieve, which to a large extend is right. In that case I would never get married since I have so much I want to achieve. I then ask myself if I really wanted to settle down in the end. To which one of my brilliant friends say my option would change when I meet the right guy. Right! And he is most probably going to come and sweep me off my feet and there will be lightning running through my body. I mean where is the practicality of it?

Over the weekend I was watching The Proposal. It was a nice romantic movie but don’t get me wrong, I was not smitten by the male character in fact I was so in love, yes in love with Alaska. And not because I want to get married there but I would like to own some property there. It is so beautiful. Back to the character , well where in the world would you get a guy like him? For God sake if I can find someone like him I would lock him up in a tower and do a thorough psychological test on him. Just to make sure he is real.

Well that makes me wonder if winter is going to bring a revival of the love season or is it going to get worst. The future is yet to be. But for me definitely I know, I will be falling in love in December and the name of my love interest is SIKKIM!!!

QCE520: A conscious decision

Today in class Prof TMASS showed us a clip about a teacher who started to teach students instead of subjects because of a boy called Teddy. It was very moving and I knew exactly what she was talking about for I had met a boy just like Teddy and yet not like him. I also liked the part where Prof TMASS shared his life as a student. He learnt a lot about life outside school rather from the subjects he learnt. I however matched certain subjects to my understanding to the world I live in and vice versa. Though I have to caution that some of the things I do are not really acceptable in class. For instance, Prof TMASS realized that I have been blogging in class. It was not exactly the right thing to do since my teacher had spend so much time to prepare lesson. However, I was not day dreaming on the other hand. I was blogging, writing down my thoughts about the lesson itself. The ideas that were being cultivated in the lesson. So in that case I am actually paying attention, reflecting about it and creating new ideas. But at the same time I should respect my teacher so for now I came to a compromise I shall not blog but I am going to let my ideas brood over and then write about it.

A Tale of Two (part III)

The princess was really mad at what had happened. She had just made a fool of herself in front of the Dragon and the stranger. Who the hell was he? A total flirt and she bet he was enjoying every minute of her looking stupid. She stormed off to her castle, mumbling under her breathe. But somewhere at the back of her head she cannot but help thinking how attracted she was to Talyer the blacksmith. It was not just his good looks but his slience that intrigued her alot and she wanted to know what he was thinking. She paused. What was wrong with her? Why was she so bothered with this balcksmith? Maybe because she was looking for a distraction from the stranger friend of hers and Talyor had arrived at the wrong place at the wrong time according to her.

When she got back to the castle she was surprised to see her servant maid running to her to announce that there was a guest from the groom side who had arrived to see her. The princess sighed and rushed up to her room to clean up. Once she was done she quickly hurried to the library where the guest was already waiting to see her.

As she opened the library door she was confused to see that there was no one in the room. She walked towards when suddenly the door closed behind her. She turned and to her horror, standing infront of her was Talyor. He smiled at her and gave a bow. The princess started to reprimand him for surprising her and wanted an explanation how he dared to enter her house without her permission. Before he could answer, there was a knockon the door and her mother entered asking her wat the commotion was all about. She suddenly stood short and greeted Taylor. What took the princess by surprise when her mother addressed him as Lord Talyor. She was puzzled. Her mother reading her expression explained that Lord Talyor was a nobleman and a friend of the grooms. And since the groom had to leave on urgent matters he was asked to come down to see that the wedding preparations were going well on behalf of his friend. The princess jaw dropped. The queen then lead him to have tea and to discuss matters of great importance and Talyor gave the princess a nod and guided the queen down the hallway. The princess stood there dumbfounded.

Growing up!

A familiar face greeted me when I entered the canteen in NIE. Mrs Nekki Bei waved at me and just sitting opposite her, behold the Great Mr Yeo. The man who introduced me to the world of Gothic, the other side of human nature, the dark side in particular. Not to mention he was dressed in that hip hop large black shirt of his and he got up and gave me a great big hug. I felt exhilarated. These were the teachers who made my life so spectacular and fun. The lit department were like Martians on earth and boy did they induce enlightenment into us, the normal human race. For once I felt like I was back at home.

I had met Mrs Nekki Bei the day before and was telling her the kind of life I had lead in Uni and how different it was from what I was going through now. Mr Yeo commented that from what he heard I had moved away from that innocent girl I had been, more adventurous now (forgot the particular word he used to describe me). I was bantering with him. I was telling him with that cheeky smile that I had so much fun in uni. To which he replied don't elaborate the fun. Then I told him that I was having clean fun and as usual he always outwitted me with his words.

The truth was that I am growing up. I wouldn't say that it was difficult but I am spending alot more time discovering a world that I am in. A world called reality that has so many unwritten rules. For instance I was telling Mrs Nekki Bei how one must be careful when handling one's colleague especially of the opposite sex. For instance one must watch his or her language and tone when jesting and joking. I have the tendency to be so carried away with a conversation that I would say something without thinking of the implication of it. Jesting and bantering does not go well with everyone. Being lit students and also rather a Martian on earth I need to constantly watch what I say. This is what my mother has been telling me for years but I never understood that and trust me I have done a bit of damage already, hurting people without knowing. Anyway now I am more conscious of it and am exploring the facts of reality. It's a rather new thing for me but its a right of passage that I have to take. As Mr Siraj had said its all part and parcel of being an adult.

For now I am testing quite a bit of the water and we shall see how it goes. Perhaps the product of growing up is gaining what seem to be an objective perspective and losing the subjective innocence.

QCE520 Being a responsible learner

Today tutorial was about Integrating grammar in unit of work. We were given a task as usual and as usual I was like , "oh another task". Somewhat I have begin the same cycle that I am usual in. A cycle that begins where I am confused and don't grasp the idea and then after a while you finally get the Eurika moment. Honestly, I like this cycle rather than the other one where I understand it in the inital stage and then as the lessons go on, I feel bored and feel as if i have not learnt anything. Don't get me wrong, I am not in the Eurika moment now and thank God for that. But somewhat I was starting in that track.

I am not sure if Prof TMASS has read my blog yet as I only send him the link a few minutes ago (Unless he has a computer with Internet connection as his brain). Anyways my group had finished a discussion on applying grammar teaching techniques when Prof TMASS came to inspire me. We were talking about linear grammar line and as I was speaking to him I started operating my creative juices and before I knew it somewhat the discussion grew to creating a grammar spiral map to teach. I was thrilled. I just learnt something new. It felt good. I like the feeling of creating something. This was what I felt during my enhance school experience. I was made to think. I like the process. There were nights which I would spend just planning and drawing inspirations. That is why I like my ESE rather than what I am spending in NIE. But my thought is changing now.I actual enjoy my QCE, Grammar and my lit classes where I am constantly thinking and processing. But of course not much through participating in class (due to time) as much as I learn through my reflective writings. I realised that I am responsible for my own learning in whatever way I feel I learn best.

QCE 520 is starting me of to think differently. I just realised that this is a problem that my CT warned me that I would have if I have to teach Grammar in class. I have to start thinking of various plans to teach Grammar for next year. It is a trigger for me and I have to think alot more. It is a good start and we shall see where it goes from here.

QCE 520- Trying to find the logic

Today I decided to pay attention to the content in class. Though I have to say I learn a lot more from the reaction of my colleagues and prof who never fail to generate ideas in my head. And today was no exception.

We were half way through class when Prof TMASS asked if anyone had any questions before he proceeded on. Benedict a colleague of mine, randomly blurred that he was feeling hot. The airconditioning was not working that well although it was pouring cats and dogs outside. Prof TMASS reaction was rather interesting. He chose to talk about his experience teaching in Iraq and how humid and hot the weather was like. I enjoy it when Prof TMASS told stories. He was not local and had travelled widely so it was nice to hear from him. Now that made me ponder about the idea of storytelling. I mean alot of times I find that students have a problem writing. I mean I have heard students told me that they have nothing to write about when it comes to compositions. It is not that they cannot think but sometimes they don't know what to think about. They need to know that they can draw inspirations from everywhere. And I think telling stories is a great leverage point. We can feed on others story and recreate it, making it our own. But of course that brings to the danger of plagiarism and I think as a teacher we need to be aware of the type of messaging we are giving to the kids.

Then later in class we were given a task to do ( see, I was paying attention though I had swinging in and out of my idea filled brain of mine) To be honest I had no idea what exactly we were suppose to do for the task until Prof TMASS explained it to me. You see if a teacher like myself did not comprehend the task I wonder how the students will understand it. You know the amazing thing is that when it comes to syllabus each school has an outline but how the teachers conduct the lesson is up to them. And i just realise that as a teacher I should always be conscious of not assuming that my students know what they have to do. What the heck, I think I have to stop assuming that I know what I think I know. I don't want to make an ASS or U and ME. I suppose the most important part is to be conscious of our own behaviour as a person and as a teacher. That means, boy do I have a long way to go. SIGH!!!!!

My boring poem

Okay the product of boredom

I am bored
Just as I have always been
The period before
The period now
The period next
I wonder if it will end
Boredom is boring
Boring just boring

And then…

How can boredom be boring?
Boring cannot be more boring
Boring seeks to bore
And yet we know it bores
If only I knew a way out
Boring would not be boring anymore

Daniel

I was in my first Lit class when I felt my handphone pouch vibrating. Two phones. As usual I reached out and took out my white phone. Three messages and all confirming my meetings for the week. Usually I would not check my other red one but for some reason I took it out to check. A special message from an old and almost forgotten student. His name was Daniel and he said, "Happy Teacher's Day Miss Ling. Thanks for teaching me. Have fun and enjoy your day okay:p" For a moment I paused. I suddenly felt the taste of my first sip of hot chocolate in a cold winter morning in Korea. It was heart melting. He remembered me. He could have chosen to forget me. I was only his ex tuition teacher and it has been a year ago since he left. But he did remember me.

Just then my teacher in class asked us the reason why we have decided to teach. I smiled. I had a reason and his name was Daniel

QCE520- Being Different

I was late for Professor Tmass' class today. As I stepped into class he gave a slight glance and continued to listen to my colleague speaking. For some reason I was not guilty for being late. I was, last week when I was 10 minutes late. Prof Tmass gave me that you-are-late look which some how made me feel guilty. He has the innate ability to do so and I felt it is a great talent. But this time round I wanted to see if he would speak to me after class for being late again. Don't get me wrong I was not going late to class deliberately but for once I wanted to put myself in the shoes of a student I used to know.

You see I am currently reading this book called, "I am a pencil"by Sam Swope and it has got me thinking alot more (that explains why I was late as I missed the bus while I was reading today). I have always been the studious, talkative active and punctual student in my life. Feeling guilty was a product of being a good student. I was the student that till today most teachers remember and applaude but now as a teacher I am intrigued by students who are rather quiet and those whose work tell me alot about them. For instance, I had this student who was given an assignment and I remembered clearly the pictures he chose to share about his emotions. It was deep and very symbolic. I felt that he was a thinker whose thoughts were truely complex and intellectual. The only obsticle he had was expressing himself in words. Not that he could not, but did not know how. I was helping my CT and I would seat beside him and encourage him and try to see things from his perspective. It was only for a while but that student left me thinking

Throughout Prof Tmass' class I spent a great deal observing my prof instead of actually listening to what he has to teach. I think I learn alot more observing how he teaches in class rather than what he teaches. He sparks off ideas and thoughts in my mind and I figured that was what was happening in some of my students' head, its not what I give them but what they create from what I teach them. Well content is important but I favour the process of thinking. Sometime my prof does not realise it but I actually learn new things that he may not have intended to teach. For example, how to encourage students to think with non verbal actions, his smile and the way he humbles himself when we give him the right answers. Small actions but great impact.

I also learnt that keeping mouth shut has resulted in me writing alot more and reflecting more. A process that is integral in one's life. I like the way I think when I don't speak but everyone's worried thinking I have sunk into depression. My mother would think that I have sold my soul to the devil and am plotting to blow up the world. Nevertheless, I like the thinking process and most writers and brilliant actors spend alot of quiet time alone. I have done that many times in my life only to be almost send to IMH(Institute of Mental Health). But I suppose it is alright if the passion is shifted to writing. I hope to inspire and learn a lot more from students like that. It is just refreshing for my soul.

Spell of the Day by Llewellyn

I saw this today and thought it is a good way to rejuvernate oneself
Spell of the Day by Llewellyn


For those who cannot access the website here is the article but do visit it some of the spells are good for mental destressing. Its theraputic in nature and oh it has nothing to do with Harry Potter and spells!!!

Life sometimes gets very mundane and routine, and we become bored. To awaken interest in our lives again, collect a red energizing candle, a scarf or length of cloth in an exciting color or pattern, and a stone. Breathe deeply and connect with Mother Earth. Gather up the boredom and angst you feel inside you. Feel it well up and then hold the stone to your mouth and yell all that feeling into the stone. Take the stone outdoors and throw it away from you with all your might, shouting, “Begone!” Return and light the red candle for energy. Wave the cloth over it and wrap it around you, saying, “As I surround myself in color, texture, and pattern, I feel excitement and curiosity fill me again. I am willing myself to see new patterns and to feel my life anew. As I will so mote it be.” Fill yourself with excitement and the will to see interesting new patterns. When you are finished, extinguish the candle and thank the Spirit. Wear the scarf often as a reminder that you are the excitement.

source: http://www.llewellyn.com/free/spell.php

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Falling back again

When I was in my teens I remembered reading a book about Merlin. It was not the story but the beginning of the novel that left a mark of an impression on me. It starts of with the protagonist literally tearing her heart out and throwing it in to the river. She is an elf but be it literal or metaphorical the idea is beyond words. The idea that something must have happened to have made her react in such a manner. The agony of a heart pain.

Sometimes its not about your heart being broken but the idea of losing someone or being disappointed with what is happening can also cause such pain. Have you ever gone through a phrase of life where your heart is broken and there is no glimpse of hope and then suddenly all changes? You don't understand why and when it hit you but it does. And you feel free and yet enslaved at the same time. You can breathe and yet you feel suffocated. You want to reach out and yet you like the confinement. You hate the waiting and yet you like the idea of what shall happen next. The idea of this conundrum excites you. If you don't understand it, never mind your time has not come but if you do, you would know the state of mind I am in right now.

Its rationality means irrationality in which one often sites irrationality because it makes more sense than believing in what everyone else thinks is right. But then again how the world functions, most impotantly how you function is subjective. I figured that it would be good to leave things alone and see what happens but at the same time a little voice in me tells me to go forth and I just wonder if I should. Playing with pandora's box is diasterous but not doing so is deadly for me. We shall see...

Glin's Adventures at Homey Castle

A new story with a special group of people. See if you can identify yourselves

“Grannie hurry up, we are all waiting for you!”

“I am coming dearies, I am coming” I replied as I slowly made my way to the living room. I could feel my hip moving in different directions and wonder when they would fall off. I am seventy years old and I already feel like a fossil. Life has been great to me and I have taken advantage of it. No one is to be blamed for my dying bones. I have always been proud of who I have been and never once regretted the way I choose to live my life. Perhaps the reason was that I never lived an ordinary life. No one can when you had discovered what I had. From then on life changes for you even if you don’t want to. Resistance was not an option.

“Grannie hurry!!!”

I had finally made my entrance at the living room to see the eager faces of my three grandchildren. They were all seated near the fire place all clean and smelling of baby talcum powder. They were a bunch of rascals yet when it comes to ten at night you cannot help but be amuse at their inncoent faces and brightly lit eyes. They were a cunning bunch and they knew it was only in winter can they exploit their granny. And I on the other hand welcomed it.

“So granny what adventure will it be tonight? “asked the smartest of the three.

“Tell us something different this time. Something scary!” giggled the second one and put the sheets on his head.

“No granny, something not so scary please…” whispered the youngest of them all.

“Okay , okay settle down little ones. Today’s story is going to be rather interesting one. And I promise it is not going to be scary but perhaps more weird” I replied

“Oh go on Granny!!” yelled all three

I began my story. I remember this as clearly as it had happened yesterday. It happened when I was a young lady. An age where you have outgrown the idea of a fairytale or a fantasy world. I was a normal girl living a normal life, that what I thought until I found a hole in time and ended myself in a parallel universe. So far I had taken two trips, once to the roman empire where I encountered Brutus and Caser and the other was during the witch trial at Salam. However this was a travel I had not expected. I was about to enter a dimension beyond my wildest dreams.

It was in the mid of July and I had found myself awake in a huge canopy bed. It was dark and yet I could see well. The moonlit was shining through the window and had lit the entire room. I was flabbergasted. I found myself staring at old ruin walls . It seem like I was in a castle. Then I heard a knock on the door and it opened.

“Hello, may I come in?”

“Yes please enter” I replied.

A huge shadow of a creature entered my room. It was well build and really huge. He reminded me of the incredible Hulk except that his body was the texture of wood . What was really remarkable was that he had the most handsome smile that I have ever seen. It made me feel secure and I was not afraid of him.

“Hello my name Luza. And I know you, you are Glin right?”

I nodded and smiled. He then passed me a bag which happens to contain some clothes and asked me to meet him in the hall once I am done freshening up and then he left without a sound. I looked into the bag to find the most peculiar outfit. It was something the female protagonist in a Zorro Movie would wear. But who cares, I like dressing up and so I quickly got out of my nightgown and into that suit.


I closed the door behind me and was surprised to find a spiral stair case. There was nothing else there, no matter, no rooms. It was just the stairs. So I made my way down the stair which were made up of florescent lights. They were not too bright but as I made my way down, the light behind me went off.

Finally I reached the end of the stair case and saw a huge table that seats ten people. The funny thing was that there was no one at the seats but there was food place at each chair and each one was different.

“hello? Anyone there?” I called out

Apparently no respond and then I saw one of the seats move out and I reckoned that it was a signal for me to seat myself. So I made my way to the seat. And as I sat people appeared in the other seats out of the thin air. I was seating beside Luza who smiled at me. He was sitting at the head of the table. Luza then bowed and everyone started to dine.

“Let me introduce you later after the meal .”

There was a young lady sitting opposite me She was dressed in purple and somewhat seem very quiet. I think she was aware of me staring at her and looked up from her cup of tea and biscuit and smiled. She seemed to be a kind soul and there was a twinkle in her eyes. I later found out that her name was Tulip.

Next to her was a tall gentleman in a basket ball shirt and seem to be reading some Chinese philosopher‘s writings. What was rather interesting was as he read, the Chinese words would circle around his head. His name was Helix.

Next to me was another lady. She had an innocent child like face and yet she was wearing a shield and was carrying a bow and arrow which she placed near her. She was constantly trying to work on what looked like a small laptop and also to manage her meal. Her name was Xelina

Next to Xelina was a gentleman was who looked very ordinary. There was nothing unique about him. He looked plain at the first glance. But if you look closer you could see small slips what seem to be molten larva coming out from small microscopic spores of his body. His name was Vollare

Beside Helix set a rather quiet but cunning looking young gentleman. But I was soon to discover that he was the infamous prankster. He could fool anyone and create optimal illusion. What was prevalent about him was that he carried a sliver bag that could fit anything he stole.

Opposite him seat a rather flamboyant young lady. She was busy chatting- one on her phone and the other on her laptop. She had a rather interesting I-pod that she could command to do things for her. She seem to be so tech savy that even the seat she was seating was playing music. Her name was Gloria

Opposite her was a man busy going through a pile of sheets. He seem to be speed reading them and as he put down the sheets I realized that the words on them had disappeared. He did pause and looked up at me and smiled a warm fatherly smile and then went back to his work.

Now the last person at the table who sat opposite Luza was a curious case. He was silently eating his meal . He seemed to be the shy sort yet he seemed fierce looking. In between bites he would either seem to be gazing down at his lap or at the open space. Later I discovered that he was indeed a shy type who was secluded and lives in a world of his own. He seem to have a rather private life and for a moment I imagined myself as Shylock investigating , ‘ The Secret life of Tridor’. That was his name, Tridor.

I was thrilled but at the same time I had no idea why I was here in the first place. I had to wait for everyone to finish their respective meals and I would find out soon enough. All I had to do is to wait.

Picture : http://www.castles.org/castles/Europe/Eastern_Europe/Romania/Huneodora/hunedoara02.jpg

Maa Da Laadla Begad Gaya

For the past week this song (the title) has been played over and over again in my head whenever I see my mother. Those who have no idea what this song is about, well, let me paint you a picture. This song comes from the hit Bollywood movie. "Dostana". In this scene the mother goes bizzack because she thinks her son is gay and is having a relationship with his roommate (in actual fact he is not gay and only lies to get himself an apartment). So its really hilarious in the song scene when little normal actions that the guys do together somewhat seem gay to the mother. You can go to youtube and watch it (http://www.youtube.com./watch?v=UlQui2orQq8&feature=related). Now what in the world does this have to do with my mother going bizzack?

Well, there is two thing that is similar with the mother in the movie and my mother . Firstly, they both share the typical idea that their offspring would settle down with someone nice. Secondly they would settle down with someone of the opposite sex/gender (my differs a bit here, but read on and I will explain).

My dear beloved ma (mother)

My mother's greatest concern now is that I don't have a boyfriend. She worrying has caused my younger brother to somewhat decide to 'help' me by taking me out and introducing me to guys. To which I told him, I don't have problems meeting guys and I have tons of guy friends and acquaintances . The issue is meeting that special someone that you feel connected to. I am sure many of my friends and colleagues would understand what I am talking about. It is not like going to a supermarket and picking the guy of your choice (oh, if only it would be that simple). Its about finding the connection.

(My delightful guy friends from the Philippines. Rock on Guys!!!)

I have actually learned more about guys during my last two years in NUS. I have met rather interesting characters who enlightened me to the fact that not all guys want to be my friend and that they are some who wanted more. The problem was at that time I did not know how to read signals from guys and thus never got into a relationship. The good thing however as all these characters ended up being my friends and I actually got closer to them and apparently the relationships which I foster with them seem to be something that was unique and they did not have to go through the preface of them being nice to impress me. The only problem was that I was still single though I had no qualms about being single as it gave the freedom to get involve with a lot more activities.

However it comes to a point of one's life that you need to be grounded back to reality. Just as my parents have an obligation to see that I settle down, I have an obligation to ensure I fulfill my duties as a daughter. At the same time it is also important that you eventually find someone to share your life with. The ride would be fun with someone to travel with you. So in the words of my mother I am back to square one.

(Me and Sherwin, beside an F1 race car)

Now the second aspect is where it gets humorous. You see at first my mother was worried with some of the guys I was spending time with. She felt they were not right for me. She went to the extend to ask me in a very serious & disapproving tone ( when me and some of these guys take photos standing close to each other) if there was something going on between us. That's when I drop the bomb shell, "Mom, err.. they are gay". And she would reply "öh..."in that weird awed expression. Then she would never question me again and would never bother me. However, this has happen quite frequently that now whenever I come back home after going out and say, "guess what mom?"and she would reply with a sigh, "he's gay isn't he?" So you see now my mother's worry is that the guys I go out with and enjoy company with are, in a large majority gay. So now you understand my second point. Its not about me being lesbian, though once I tried to convince my mom I was lesbian so she would stop bugging me. And this was what she said, you are too straight to be a lesbian, so forget it". I failed in vain.

I find it extremely funny when I think about my mom. I mean I understand the part about me settling down but I just can't help but laugh over the fact that my mom somewhere in her mind thinks that I will end up with someone who is gay. I mean a gay friend once suggested to me (since his mother was pestering him) that we should just get married to satisfy our parents and then live our own lives in the same house. It was not a bad idea but I felt it would be too complicated if either one of us found someone else interesting. The other option was that I have decided to travel and explore the world with some of my friends. So here I was planning my trip and activities that I want to do until a few days ago when faith sprang a surprise on me.

(Me and my gals snowboarding without jackets. Awesome!!!)

I am going back to school!!! Yup one more year of education for me starting in August. I am looking forward to studying again and more importantly that this means I get to be involve with more activities for another year. Hurray!!! Now my mom is happy too because for her I will be meeting guys in school again. Some of my friends were advising me to actual start dating when I get back to school. Some others are hoping that I would be attached soon (cosmological references) So I am befumbled and yet flattered that I have so many people who do care about my love life. And I sincerely thank them. I suppose only time can tell what is in store for me.

Hmm...what is a girl like me to do when you have a crazy life?