Emotional Exhaustion

School starts next week and yet I seem very tired. It has been a emotionally exhausting past two weeks and there is alot that has happened to allow me to ponder over it and write about it. My emotional exhaustion is due to the situations I face with my students. It is amazing how sometimes you realise that there are students who appreciate what you do for them and some who don't and take your kindness for granted.

Recently I have been having trouble with these particular three students whom I adore despite their naughtiness. But lately, i realise that despite my efforts to change them they are going back to their old habits again. Coming late for class and not paying attention to their work and disturbing the rest of my students. I am sick and tired of their behaviour. I have parents who have strictly requested that their children do not attend the same class with these kids. I have scolded them before but they seem to forget my lashing after a few weeks. I am very worried for them. With their attidude what can one do to ensure that they don't fall? Perhaps I am trying to do what my mother does for me. She always tries to catch me and my brother before it is too late. She believes in the philosophy of teaching your kid without letting them get hurt. A mother's instinct who can blame her? But I am not a mother but sometimes it just hurts when you see your students go a stray. I don't want them to destroy their lives but like my mother and some of my friends say, "lingehs you can't always try to save the world. You can only do your best." I suppose they are right. I had always wanted to save the world like superman but then I realise even superman (if he really existed) cannot save everyone's live. I mean he has issues on his own to settle.

Having said that there are of course kids who I encounter who need someone in their lives. Like this girl whom I got to know. She is so cute but her life is somewhat not a pretty picture for her. Her parents don't really care about her. You won't believe it but she was so afraid to ask her mother to make glasses for her. Her mother thinks its a waste of money and that poor girl has to borrow her classmate's glasses to have a look at what is written on the board. Her parents never ask her about school and doesn't care about what she does. All they expect of her is to produce good grades. Her only avenue is when she is babysitted by her mother's friend .She enjoys it there and once in a while I get to interact with her. It is the only freedom she has and she is only eight.

After this my brother and I both agree that we are brats. Sometimes having to spend time with such kids makes me feel really happy. It makes my heart melt just to see them smile. I just finished watching Marvin's Room. A beautiful movie I would say. I especially like the character that Leonardo Decaprio plays ( I use to have a crush on him when I was a teenager). The realtionship between Leonardo and his aunt is so beautiful and you see how a troubled kid transforms to be good. I constantly have to remind myself that I can't always expect to transform everyone's life. Despite all I do for them (like providing them meals) I cannot exepect all my kids to love me like how I love them. They are some who do and some who in their eyes I will always be a third party. It is sad but I suppose it is one of live's lessons that I learn. Neverthless I have decided to continue to give love. I mean come to think about it, if GOD had chosen to give up on loving then he won't have created me in the first place. I mean who wants to live with a nightmare!

picture from: www.lordoftherings.net

LiFe of KIDZ tOdAy

Having been actively teaching and working with those below the age of 16 for the past 4 years, I just came to realise what a deprived childhood kids have nowadays. Listening to the tales of their lives though at first may surprise you, compared to my childhood it is very much mundane. Although I do have to say that everytime I talk about my experience with the children I have encountered, I never fail to be greeted with raised eyebrows and wide slightly (in some case wide) open.

Recently I was having a conversation with some collegues of mine and was sharing my experience with them . Their reaction was as I had expected. But they also said something particularly interesting. They were saying how these weird students that I have is due to the fact that I myself am weird in nature. Another friend of mine once suggested I should go and work with child criminals since I am constantly in contact with them. I do beg to differ. My students are not really criminals but they are just doing what some adults would do if given a chance, expect in a much smaller scale.

I mean I have handled students who have burnt down chicken farms, put firecrackers under girls' skirts, got involved with gang fights at the age of 9 and almost blinded a peer of theirs, future undeworld mafias, explored different religions, explored homosexual behaviours and to top it all one of my special student spends alot of time coming up with torture techniques for others. And she is only seven! Amazing isn't it? By the way this seven year old is my favourite of the lot.
Hard to believe eight? But being someone who is trained in sociology and have done an assignment on these kids. I began to see that these kids are trying to fill their life with different types of entertainment because they don't have an exciting childhood. Take a look at what kids do most of the time when they are free? They either glued to their computer games or out hanging out with friends. Of course we have some who are trying to become the next Mozart or the youngest Einstein to ever exist. But honestly if given the chance they would just go out and play. But that is just my opionion.

Take a look at the toys they play with for instance. I was recently shopping in Toy R'us and the toys I saw are so boring. Where are those toys where you can create something new? During my time I had seen toys whereby you can make your own edible ice cream and waffles. You can also sew your own costume. LEGO and PLAY DOH had so much varities compared to now. I use to also owe a whole load of remote control racing cars. Now its pathetic.

I sometimes wonder what childhood would mean in the near future. I think we are moving so fast that there is no such thing as being a child. It's like moving back to the middle ages, where a child is treated like a small adult. COme of think of it we are already in the middle ages, where some of the children are experimenting with sex at the age of nine (though its illegal) and before we know it, it will be drugs and alcohol. I mean now they are also going to be trained in weapons in some countries how long would it be before the trend hits Singapore. After all we already have a nine year old who is pregant.

picture from: http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/warner_brothers/harry_potter_and_the_sorcerer_s_stone/_group_photos/daniel_radcliffe4.jpg