A reflection at this point of my life

I have been told many times to reflect on my life as it helps me to grow. I never really knew the right way of reflecting on what is happening in my life until recently. To those who are in touch with me in my social and professional circle, you would know what is going on in my life at this moment. I am going through an array of emotions at this point of my life and sometimes I wish, just like Alice in Wonderland, I could just pinch myself and wake up from this absurdity. However, I can't and have to face it. I suppose writing out my train of thoughts would help.

I am in a situation in which I am being punished for something I have not done. It is a blow to one's self esteem and aspirations. I sometimes ask myself, "WHy me?" But then again "WHy not me?" If something is happening to me means that there is something I need to learn. In this situation it is not a materialistic lesson as much as a life lesson, in my case, "lessons"

Lesson One: Welcome to Politics

A friend once told me, "Ling, it is no point doing your masters (this was when I finished my degree and was thinking of doing my masters) Go out and work. School does not teach you how to survive in life. Work does. The first thing you will learn is politics. And, this is an important lesson and the faster you learn, the better for you." I did not understand the full impact of this phrase until now. My first lesson in work was about politics. It's a nasty business and you need to be resilient in order to come out sane.

Lesson Two: It's a two sided coin, where you would have enemies but also supporters

It is easy to lose your own identity when you are stuck in politics. You wonder if you were the one at fault. Your enemies would force you to believe that they are right. For those who watch Shutter Island you would understand what I am talking about when I say I was in Leonardo's shoes, forced to believe that you were the one who was insane. However, there will also be a group of people who would stand by your side to assure you that you are not insane and that what is happening to you is real. They come in when you least expect them and sometimes they are not even your best friend but they understand your plight. To these group of people (a huge group, I dare say) I am always grateful.

Lesson Three: Identify your flaws and don't take it for granted

I realised that it is so easy to just blame it on others for the situation you are in. I think the bigger challenge is to face the fact that you too have flaws.I feel unsettle when I write the above sentence but it is true. I have flaws and I admit I am not perfect. I realised that I could have thought through things and be more careful in the way I handle certain circumstances. I could have better understood a situation and taken proper actions. but what is done is done. I can't turn back time. But, like the Prince of Persia, I can make it better but learning from my mistakes and careful planning. It has been a humbling situation and one that requires me to first admit that I had made mistakes. Now what next?

Lesson Four: Move on

I think the best part of making mistakes and being stuck in a sticky situation is getting the best out of it and moving on. It takes alot of courage to move on and not dwell in the past. I learn that each time I move on, something happens to my mind, a sudden surge of connections that were never there is established and you slow down and see things differently. My mom calls it maturity. I call it epiphany. Either ways, you start thinking differently and see things in a rather interesting manner. Call me bonkers, but I actually enjoy what is happening around me. A sense of fear and excitement surrounds me when I realise how vulnerable I can be and how strong I can get.

Lesson Five: Learn to prioritize

In the midst of what is happening, I suddenly find myself in other situations where I am suddenly confronted for things that are the least important at this moment of my life. And no matter how you put the message across, some people just don't get it. It suddenly dawns to you that to them they are the center of the world. They are really so duff to understand what is happening in your life. They just go on and on. This made me realise that they are times in my life you just have to ignore these people because no matter what you say they just DON'T GET IT. It's so annoying for me. So I learn to prioritize what is important in my life. If it is not helping you to grow, shuff it in the shelve, despite, knowing that the other party would be bitching about you no matter what you say they JUST DON"T GET IT. Too bad, I suppose that's life and I am least bothered with it.

Conclusion

After writing this out, I feel much better. My thoughts are much clearer and I feel a better sense of what I am doing and how I can handle what is thrown at me. It is amazing how life unfolds and all it takes is just a change in angle to see how beautiful life can get

NB: Thanks Jason, point noted