Wednesday, July 1, 2015

The un-socializing of the social butterfly

I turned 30 two weeks ago. To be honest, it is not a big deal for me. It basically signifies how my youth has passed me by and how long more I have to live this life. I am not upset or extremely egg-cited( as some put it) about my passing (morbid). I am just contemplating.

Being a social butterfly, my wings have been clipped at a certain angle. I don’t find that all that bad (which I would have a few years ago). But I certainly feel different over the past one week. Many people understand when I say, I have no idea what is going on inside of my head nor the fate that revolves around me.

Let me elaborate without explaining in detail. Some of us have lives which are unfortunate (tragedy strikes, loss of work etc) while many of us have stages in our lives where we are confused. There are people who have weird lives. I belong to that category. My life is not complicated but just downright weird.

In my life, I find myself in the most unexpected and unexplainable situations. As a surfer dude once put it, there is a certain amount of mystic about me. The mystic can be defined by the people I live with, the unexpected events in my life and my encounter with strange beings in an untimely setting.

For instance, I have a soothsayer for a mother (She is not those weird gypsy). She occasionally warns me about things happening in my life. So far, she has not been wrong. The only problem, however with her soothsaying is that , she is not sure exactly what the omens are referring to. She is not wrong but it is only after a long time, do the both of us really realise what the omens actually meant.  

Then there are these strange events that happen. For example, a girl who has been trying to get tickets for her favourite show for hours is suddenly able to get one when I am around her.  Now this is just one event but imagine the nature of such incidents happening many times over a short period of time. That is no joke then, is it?

The last aspect of my mystic is the strange people I meet. But what is even more bizarre is that I can meet someone and have a connection with a person and then they  disappear out of my life. So imagine the rollercoaster of emotions I have to go through constantly. 


Right now, I am in that stage. My soothsayer had said something and the events in my life seem to reflect it and then this strange person who I met a few weeks ago suddenly stopped communicating with me. And just as I thought him to be another disappearing case, he reappears again.Not to mention, strange people I have lost touch reappearing in my life. 

So I am neither, upset, confused nor happy. In fact, I have no idea what I feel. All I want to do is to stop socializing and stop making anymore friends and just stare up in space and think about nothing. I think that helps a lot. 

For once, this social butterfly is not sociable anymore. 






2 comments:

Unknown said...

Ling~~~ can you drop by Perth for a visit then? Maybe i'll actually successfully finish and submit if you do... xD

Elv xD

lingehs said...

Elv!!!! Haha I will pop by next year. This year it is back to Europe but next year newer pastures